Life Sans Alcohol
Disclaimer: This is a tough post for me to write. Likely the longest and toughest for me to date (5 minute read). I say it all without judgment and with the intention of love.
Some things happened in August and September that made me want to experiment with a life without alcohol. I'd been intending to do a "sober stint" for quite some time now, as in long over a year. So for the month of October, aside from a few days, I went sober.
The couple of days were as a result of a bachelorette party. Let’s be honest, I wasn’t gonna not drink for that. Especially when it’s a weekend of celebration. Which means bubbles. And if you know me, you know how much I love them bubbles. Definitely learned that fact full force that weekend.
Self proclaimed Bubbles Queen, right here! They match my personality well, what can I say!
My biggest challenge with my drinking is that I have a tendency to black out. I have held and continue to hold shame around it. Not exactly something I’m comfortable with a ton of people knowing.
Yet, people knew. Of course they did. People in high school, people in college, people I’ve dated. Those close to me knew this. Sadly, I know it's how people continue to see me, ONLY my excessive drinking.
I want to be a better coach. I want to be the best coach I possibly can be. Part of that is being a better coach to myself. The way I saw it: if I can’t hold myself accountable to being a responsible drinker, then how can I be so hypocritical to hold people accountable for a living?
My intention for October: I am developing a healthy relationship with alcohol and becoming a responsible drinker.
The definition of an excessive drinker is FOURTEEN or more drinks a week. On average, 2 drinks a day. I know some people who drink that in a night …
I can tell you that, especially since it was the summertime, there were more weeks that I hit that number than I didn’t. It’s not like I was getting hammered every night. A drink here and a drink, or three, there. Either way, it adds up.
Lemme say: I don’t believe myself to be addicted to alcohol, although I do have an obsessive personality. I had some abusive tendencies with it.
Note: Placing the label on yourself that you are an alcoholic doesn’t help you either. It actually sends signals to your brain that reinforces the belief that you are, perpetuating a tricky cycle.
Anywho, would I want to hire a coach who was aware of such a challenge in their life and they're not doing anything about it? No. So I cleaned up.
Not drinking did take restraint. Not gonna lie. I live in a city that is a drinking place with so many awesome breweries and distilleries. Socializing typically takes place over coffee or drinks in Grand Rapids. Likely other cities too. I found myself being a tad less social but when I was out, holding back was tough at times.
Some benefits were saving a bit of money and feeling a bit more physically fit, since my stomach wasn’t bloated from alcohol. As a health conscious person and someone with a healthy addiction of working out, the health benefits to not drinking are too much to list.
Another thing is that my habit with drinking was operating against my own value of integrity and belief/strength of responsibility.
In part of going sober, I decided to read the 30-Day Sobriety Solution alongside it. Jack Canfield is the shiz and wrote one of my favorite books, The Success Principles. He essentially applied the Success Principles to addiction, specifically alcohol, and created a program/book on it.
The book drops a lot of knowledge in regards to alcohol and to develop a “thriving in sobriety” lifestyle.
One of the most profound things I learned was that there is ALWAYS a deeper intention for drinking. Covering up pain and hurt by “numbing” it with a liquid. It’s not always aware to the drinker though. And more likely than not, it goes WAY deeper than a surface issue.
Even the thought “I have to drink in order to have fun” is a limiting belief as to why you turn to drinking. That one in particular is developed by society - ESPECIALLY in college, when that’s what ya do on the weekends - go out and party.
To be perfectly blunt, from my observation, a lot of people in my generation abuse alcohol without being aware that they are.
I’m guilty of saying this but the phrase “it’s been a day. I need a drink” is simply NOT a good way to use alcohol. Point blank. Alcohol will numb the pain in the moment, but make the pain worse when it wears off, especially if it wears off with a hangover.
Our society doesn’t drink alcohol to enjoy the craft. Not like Europeans/other countries do. In the US, we’ve created a HUGE culture around drinking. College "hanging out" is based on a binge drinking mentality. Yeah, we all heard about the harmful effects of it in health class. It is some serious shit.
It is a drug. It's legit a poison for your body. Our society doesn't treat it like it is ... but dude, IT IS. Be careful how you use it.
I can tell you that I learned a lot in only a month of this experiment. I was 100% successful in my intention of developing a better relationship with alcohol. I understand more firmly why I had a tendency to abuse it. It took stepping back to really see what I was doing and why I was doing it. It’s still something I’m exploring.
For now, I am back to being the Bubbles Queen again. I LOVE enjoying the drink for it’s craft. A mentality I set out to develop in August, after my last blacking out episode. And I really love a good mimosa. Even with just this month of taking off, I have a newfound appreciation for it AND awareness around my habits with it.
The most impactful realization was asking myself the question: “If this remained a habit and nothing changed in 5 years, how would you feel about your life?”
JAW dropping. It totally puts what we do to ourselves and others in perspective when you think about any habit in that regard, good or bad.
Asking yourself quality questions are the secret to a lot of magic in life and uncovering your intuition/higher self. That’s partly why I believe coaching is so magical and powerful.
I’ll leave you with this:
1. You are SO enough. No substance or addiction will fill the hole inside you if you don't believe that you are.
2. Whether you’d consider yourself an excessive drinker or not, become aware of your relationship with alcohol, or any other addiction, accept where you're at & ask yourself the question: "if I continue down the path I am on, where will my life be in 5 years?"
Thank you for being open to reading about my experience with this experiment. If this hits home for you, send me a message. I'd love to hear from you and chat with you more.
